Ten things about flu

1. You can't breathe through your nose. Thus, you have to breathe through your mouth when chewing food or brushing your teeth, increasing the chances of food or toothpaste going down the wrong pipe

2. You can disgust people by telling them about the colour of your mucus.

3. Everything tastes the same. Good for when eating food you dislike.

4. You have no sense of smell. Useful when going past rubbish dumps or public toilets.

5. Ears keep getting blocked when you clear your nose.

6. You feel lethargic and your body aches. Bed's the best place.

7. Everyone avoids you for fear of catching the bug.

8. Flu is a bug that gets passed from person to person. So you could have the same bug that hit Freddie Mercury.

9. Mentos is good for keeping those airways open.

10. Your speech deteriorates into "Hi, I hab de fwoo. I cadt spea pohpely."